My Endo Journey Part 6

 Chapter 6

Our parents were over the moon to hear the good news. My mom cried, I cried - it was real and it was happening. All that fear and anxiety melted away and we could just focus on the months ahead; staying healthy and positive about the future. 

The twins pregnancy was pretty easy in the beginning. When carrying twins you go directly to the Maternal Fetal Medicine department at Northwestern. The hospital was 10 blocks from our condo in the city and I'd walk there for my appointments every week. We got ultrasounds regularly which was kinda cool to see them develop. 

At 20 weeks the ultrasound appointment checks their anatomy, counts their fingers and toes, and if you are lucky you can see the sex. It's a stressful one and you wait with baited breath to ensure they are healthy.  We had already witnessed several women we know and love walk out of this appointment grief stricken on finding out their babies were not going to survive outside the womb; it's terrifying. And as the ultrasound tech checks off each vital organ you breathe a little easier.

It was never a thought to not find out the sex of the twins. I'm a planner and I needed too many things to just go pale yellow and green for everything. They were cooperating that day and we immediately went to the hospital gift shop to find something to give our parents to share the news. They had these little bears in blue and pink - so we picked up 2 sets and called our parents to meet up. Christians parents lived a couple blocks from us and we walked right over to share the news. The next day we drove to Michigan City to meet my parents. My mom was NOT happy we made them wait to find out 🤣. 

We wrapped the little bears and gave 1 to each of them to open. The papa's opened their's first to blue bears. My mom and Nana wanted a girl so badly and we may have delayed and teased them a bit before allowing them to open their bears to find that sweet pink one. There were tears of joy and plans to be made! Boy / girl twins was a dream come true.

By 5 months I looked 9months pregnant and I only got bigger from there. My ankles swelled m, I felt like one of those giant balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and we couldn't keep my blood pressure down. I was on partial bedrest and was able to work from home, but still it wouldn't regulate. 

At 30 weeks, the night before my Chicago shower; I went in to my appointment and they sent me to the hospital to be checked in. They tested the protein in my urine for 24hrs and it was right on the border of being dangerous for both of them and me. They gave the twins a shot of steroids to help their little lungs develop. They knew it wouldn't be long and without it their survival wasn't guaranteed. It wasn't guaranteed with it either, but at least it gave them a better shot. I got out just in time to be wheeled across the street where my shower was happening. Everyone was so wonderful; I fought hard to be there with them and then went home to lay in bed and only get up to pee and eat when I was alone.

At 35 1/2 weeks Christian and I went on our last date before officially officially becoming parents. Topolobampo was delicious and we sat at the bar at Rosewood and decided our boys name would be Franklin. Veronica was a no brainer, I'd been dreaming of naming my little girl that since I was little. I'd play dolls or Barbie's and get so mad at my mom that she didn't name me Veronica. It was her middle name and she didn't like it growing up. She told me to name my daughter it when I got older and I swore to her then that that was exactly what I was going to do. Sometimes I wouldn't talk to her for hours because of it. We glued with other options but who was I kidding, she was destined to be my Veronica.

The next morning, I went to my regular Friday appointment on June 19th, and they immediately sent me to Prentice (the best womens hospital ever). The twins were coming that day. I called Christian and told him the news just as he was stepping up to sit in Jeff Gordon's race car that was at a work event in New Lenox. I called my parents - they had their own delivery suitcases already packed and ready to jump in the car for the 3.5 hour drive from Michigan. Nana beat them all there.

By noon everyone was arriving and I was being prepped for a C-section. Veronica being twin A (closest to my cervix) dictated the birth order and she was breach. There wasn't enough room in there to flip her so we were already mentally prepared for the delivery process. But as they were prepping and waiting to wheel me in things went from risky to scary. Preeclampsia was developing fast and although I didn't really think about it in the moment - I was so worried about the twins I didn't think much of myself. We were scared of what came next. Were they big enough to survive? Were their lungs developed enough to breathe air on their own? Were we headed to the NICU for months after this? So many unknowns and yet it didn't cross my mind that I might not survive.

The epidural was awful but necessary and very quickly you can't feel anything from the waist down. Christian wasn't allowed in to hold my hand and tears fell while I sat there rounded over while they found the right spot between the vertebrae to work in the needle. They laid me down and stretched my arms out like Jesus on the cross. They raised the veil and Christian was finally allowed to come in. 

The whole process went fast and it felt like my abdomen was a suitcase they were rummaging thru looking for a missing sock. I couldn't feel my legs even existed. 

Veronica came out screaming and we were so happy. She sounded strong and fierce and she got a perfect grading even then. She was tiny at 4.3lbs but mighty. Frankie came next 2 minutes later (a point Veronica will never let him forget) and we heard his sweet voice too; weighing in with all his 4.9lbs of pure baby love. They were breathing and it was a miracle. He had a little retraction in his lungs that cleared up quickly but it still sent him to the NICU for the night to be watched. Veronica never left our side. Once I was stitched up they took three of us to our corner suite. It felt incomplete with him there too.

I wasn't allowed to stand or even really sit up. The preeclampsia so severe I was put on magnesium therapy to prevent seizures. I listened and stayed in bed. I'd send Christian to visit Franklin as often as he would listen and tell him how much his mama loved him. It was brutal but I was finally starting to realize that it was my life they were most concerned with and I didn't want to leave my people that day, before I ever held my son. 

That night Veronica was in her bassinet but it was just far enough away that I couldn't reach her without getting up. My pre mama self would've just found a way to scooch down and pull her to me, but now I had 3 beautiful reasons to ask for help. I tried the call button but I head commotion in the hallway and knew they must be busy helping someone. Christian was on the couch snoring up a storm, and I still can't believe he was sleeping thru her screaming! I tried yelling too but I was weak and I didn't want to push myself too hard so I grabbed the only thing I could and whipped the tissue box right at his head. It did the job and he jumped up to help. It's still one of the funniest and happiest moments of my life. 

I was up most of the night terrified something awful would happen if I fell asleep. I dozed in and out keeping V close to me. The next day I was finally released of the magnesium and could sit up and stand with assistance. Just as this was happening they wheeled my sweet boy in and I almost fell over weeping. I made it. It was time to meet my son. 

They kept us 5 days to get their weight up to an acceptable number. Veronica fell below 4 lbs and we almost had to leave her there. None of us wanted to leave without our instant family in tact. I was nursing them but it wasn't enough yet so we supplemented with formula every other feeding and it worked. Her weight came up and we went home. Together. 

Our beautiful family of 4, healthy and happy 💕