It's been a while since I've published any posts even though I've been writing in the background. Too many things that stopped me from sharing, and sometimes you need to get across the raging sea before you can breathe again. It's good to be on the other side of this storm, and I am ready for you.
To catch you up, I need to take you back to a year ago. February 2019 was a moment in time that will stay with me forever. I've suffered from Endometriosis most of my life and the chronic pain associated with the disease was increasing dramatically. It was time to consider a cleanup surgery again or so I thought. When I found a new endo Dr. she immediately gave me an ultrasound and the tech blurts out "oh, this looks like Adenomyosis." WTF is that?!?! was all that was running thru my mind. I immediately started researching it and found that so many of these random symptoms I had suddenly made sense. When I was younger, this was something my mom always took care of; finding the best Dr.'s, asking a million questions, and finding out every possible option available. In that moment my world flipped upside down, I missed my mom terribly, and wondered in awe of how she navigated it all before google and social media. I found a Facebook group called Nancy's Nook that became my resource library (it is NOT a support group, FYI) filled with valuable information including a list of specialists. After feeling sorry for myself for a bit, I hiked up my big girl panties and got to work finding out everything I could. All roads were leading me to a hysterectomy, and although I had my miracle babies, I couldn't help but feel like this was a fail. Endometriosis by itself is not cured by a hysterectomy and my goal since I was 15 was to make it to menopause with all my organs in tact. Adenomyosis changed that instantly, and I knew that my health was more important than some naive goal we set when I was a young girl. I was scared, in so much pain, and missing my mom more than ever. She was my advocate, my support, my strength thru this disease my whole life, and I had no idea how I was going to fill that gap. Luckily, I had a team of people who love me that stepped in and each one whether they realize it or not, laid a plank in the bridge that carried me across that gap and I am forever grateful for their love and selflessness that helped me get better.
About the same time, my husband and I were at a cross roads in our business. We were suddenly free of a storefront lease and had a few months before food truck season would be in full swing. We could turn right and finally run our business the way we always dreamed of; or follow the road to the left. A road that would allow us to put my health and well being first, one that would bring us closer to family, and one that would give us time to be more involved in our children's demanding activities as they grew older. Which way to turn was weighing on us, whichever way we chose would not be an easy road to walk down. We had poured our blood, sweat, and tears into our business. We had put our health and well being on the back burner to push and push for the success we had and yet we were no longer happy or fulfilled by it. There's been several crossroads in my life and after a few you realize life will never be the same again. Whichever road you choose will lead you forward and if you allow your happiness point you where its calling you; even if it's not the same as the goal you laid out for yourself at the last crossroads, CHOOSE THAT PATH. It was time to follow our bliss yet again and not dictate where we think we should be, but to go where our family would thrive.
I found an endo expert back home in Chicago and went for a 2nd opinion. It became clear that surgery was imminent and recovery would be long and intense, requiring physical therapy and time to heal. As a mom, that is extremely difficult to accept. We try to shield our children from the pain, stress, and struggles we endure, but sometimes you just can't. These kids took it all with love in their hearts and when mommy could hardly move from the intense pain, we cuddled. They loved on me and showered me with hugs and kisses. Parents are the ones that are supposed to sacrifice and keep moving, but we are not always able to. No matter how hard I tried to ignore the progression; the pain just screamed louder. It was time to listen. By mid summer, Frankie had finished Little League, I had the surgery, and we were moving home to Chicago. Looking back at those months gives me some anxiety. How the hell did we do it all?
It was tough moving away from the village we cultivated, a city we personally and professionally were ingrained into the culture of the community, and where our children had grown from babies into big kids. They took it all in stride and ran with it; loving their new school, jumping into new sports and making new friends. We never give kids enough credit for the truly incredible humans they are. They amaze me with their tenacity and grit every single day. It was a whirlwind start to the school year, and everyone was in a really great place.
Having my husband there to help while I recovered was such a gift, and we took time to focus on our family and what we wanted our lives to look like. And while he did some soul searching of where his career would take him next; our family had a chance to just be present together. His patience and persistence paid off as he found an amazing job that respects and appreciates him, a place that challenges him, and gives him the opportunity to grow.
I've never been able to sit still for long, and as winter grew near it caught up to me. I started to look for work to help ease our budget and give us a little extra family fun. Figuring out what that looked like with busy kids and one still in half day pre-k was challenging; a full time job wasn't fitting that picture we had for our family and even part time with would be tough when the kids get sick, or going to the city once a week for PT along with numerous other Dr. appointments. How was I going to work without sacrificing my healing or being there for my kids?
Backing up for a moment to the fall of 2018 -- I was at wine, uh I mean book club, and I was hanging out with my friend Brittany and her curls were on fire. I had to know what she was using because mine were dull and lifeless and my daughters were gorgeous but frizzy. She introduced me to her friend Jen, and I started to learn about this amazing company. I was nervous at first because of my allergies, but she assured me if they didn't work I could get my money back. This sold me and I joined as a VIP. As the crazy hormonal drugs they put me on wreaked havoc on my body and hair she would always help guide me to new products to combat it. I was slowly transitioning the entire family to their products exclusively - even Rosemary, our puppy! To say I love them is an understatement. I've watched my hair change quite dramatically, and my daughter finally loves her amazing curls. I have some weird allergies so I have to be extremely careful what products I use and that includes helping my kids wash their hair. So to say I was hooked, another understatement. I feel really good that these products are not filled with heavy silicones and harsh chemicals; that they are vegan and plant based using anti-aging technology. Science is so cool, I totally nerd out when I learn how and why these products have such amazing results. She had mentioned the business opportunity, but I blew her off for a long time. I am not that girl, not gonna cold call (I tried a couple times in the beginning and it just felt icky - if I did this to you I'm apologizing now!!), not gonna do an MLM - it's a scam. But her willingness to help me, even though I had never met the girl, was impactful and slowly I started coming around. After several interviews and putting my resume on LinkedIn and indeed and even starting a new job that quickly proved to not be a good fit; it was becoming clear to me that a traditional job was not gonna cut it. Right now my husband's job needed to be on the fore front; I am still healing, and I wanted to be with my kids as much as possible. How could I contribute, feel fulfilled and motivated without getting back to work? I love being home with my kids but I also need balance in my life.
All of a sudden her offer was looking like something that might work for me. I figured I'm always gonna use these products, so why not get the biggest discount I could, BUT if I could allow our family of six to dine out one more time a month than we budgeted for, well, that would be a win. As soon as I signed up and made the scary leap into telling people on social media what I was up to; people responded and wanted to know more. I hit that goal of upping our family fun budget the first month I started. My goals are much bigger now.
It was an amazing feeling to actually be the one to help someone find a solution, to hear from people that their stylist is amazed at seeing real growth, how much they love the way their hair feels and looks. I have always loved hair and once upon a time maybe I should have taken that path to becoming a stylist. I've always believed that your hair is the one accessory you will always wear, so treat it like the crown it is! Now they have a new skin care line that I love too and don't ever have to worry about my allergies to chemicals because we doesn't use them. Ever.
But how do you move past your friends and family and build a real, sustainable business? If I won't cold call, how do you peak interest? What should I be doing to see results and not just scroll facebook praying someone reaches out on one of my posts? These were the questions going through my mind after I said yes. I began watching webinars, power hours with our team, and joining groups and all of a sudden I'm learning again, and I can work for 15min a day or an hour depending on my schedule and still make money! These coworkers that live all over the States, have quickly become my friends and one of my new goals is to meet them in person on our next incentive trip in November. Tell me you don't want to go on a free vacation with me?
I may have lost my village, but I am rebuilding with a tribe of drama free, hard working, badass women that I am proud to be on this journey with. It's inspired me to look inside and see who I am and that has pushed me to start writing again. And that makes me feel well, more like Jennifer. And that makes me incredibly happy. Looks like we chose the right path for us and I am excited to see where it leads next.
As I work on my next writing project, I will share snip-its as it develops, stories of my adventures thru life; and my world as a mama, writer, and shampoo slinger. More to come. Thanks for listening.
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