Wednesday, October 19, 2022

My Endo Journey cont...

Sydney
My body tells me what kind of day it will be before my eyes flutter open; my mind doing a body check to see how painful it will be to rise out of bed, let alone tackle the day. Most days my hips ache, thighs burn as if I just climbed a mountain. My lower back stiff and tight, it feels like a rod is shoved in it. My belly round - looking and feeling like I was 3 months pregnant. My head in a fog; eyes heavy from exhaustion. 

On a good day my base pain level is a 3; I open my eyes and prepare to move this body that feels 80. On a bad day just rising is so painful I stifle a cry just to sit up. Or it could be anywhere in between. 

30 years of my life I did not know what the day would bring. Would I need to speed thru life getting as much done as inhumanely possible? Do I need to show myself grace and allow my body its moment? Do I walk thru mud today? Every. Single. Day. for 30 years. And every single night dreading sleep, heart racing, anxiety flooding my mind and body with the unknowns the morning would bring.

The Journey will never truly end and that's ok

Nearly 4 years ago I had my hysterectomy and after years of misdiagnosis, unnecessary surgeries, and a sudden decline in my health, I finall...